Of Grief and Hope

(in reply to a friend on the subject of dealing with grief)

...In answer to your question, I’d say that there are 3 things that have helped tremendously in dealing with the loss of my dad; Focusing on Who God is, what He’s done, and what He has in store for us, as revealed in the “Word of Truth of the truth of the Gospel.” (Colossians 1:5)

Allow me to expound on these:

It’s helped a great deal to focus on God being the eternal, omnipotent, loving, personal, Creator of all things. Something about doing that puts the human condition into some perspective. In the book of Job we read that he lost all 10 of his children whom he loved and prayed for each day (Job 1:5), as well as all of his wealth (Job 1). Of course a few of his friends, as well as a young theologian wannabe named Elihu show up and began “explaining” to him why God is doing this to him. (Interestingly enough, they’re all wrong: at the end of the book God completely ignores Elihu, while commanding the others to offer sacrifices and told them to “ask Job to ask Me for your forgiveness” for presuming to speak in the stead of God.)Job himself is clearly wracking his brains trying to think of a reason as well, to no avail.
Then, in chapters 38 and 39 we see the longest monologue by God in the entire Bible. (which continues into 40 and 41 after a brief intermission) The interesting part is, He never “answers” Job’s questions as to why He took away his family and wealth! He pretty much gives a two chapter science lesson which consisted solely of rhetorical questions, at the end of which Job exclaims “I’m a sinner! I will keep quiet!” (40:4). He is clearly acknowledging that God is in control of all things and can do as He pleases even when he didn’t understand or “like” it.
Focusing on God’s greatness instead of my sorrow, using Job as an example, has helped a lot.

Secondly, focusing on what God has given me, instead of what He’s taken away is a tremendous comfort.
Psalm 14:3, quoted by both Jesus (Matthew 19:17) and Paul (Romans 3:12) says that “there is none that does good, no, not one,” and that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Yet it also says that “God demonstrated His love for us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8), and that “you, being dead in your sins…hath He made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses” (Colossians 2:13). Focusing on the undeserved righteousness that we have by faith in the Lord Jesus brings about a thankfulness for His mercy and His love which overshadows the deepest pain.

Lastly, the “hope of eternal life which God promised…” (Titus 1:2) is a great comfort. This fallen, broken world with all its disease and famine, and earthquakes, is not our final resting place. Indeed, Paul exhorted believers in Christ not to “sorrow like the heathens who have no hope” ( 1 Thessalonians 4) for loved ones who are “asleep in Jesus” (I absolutely LOVE that phrase by the way.) He goes on to remind how the “Lord Himself will descend from heaven…and the dead in Christ will rise first, then we who are alive…will be caught up together with them…so shall we ever be with the Lord.” Then says to “comfort one another with these words. What a glorious hope! Well worth meditating on. That we will spend eternity “together” with our loved ones and with our Savior the Lord Jesus. There is great hope and comfort to be found in that.

Of course I’m not saying that these will take the pain away, but rather in the midst of tremendous pain, bring purpose and meaning and perspective, and hope to it. We’ve got a lot to look forward to! Hope this helps and I will definitely be in prayer for your friend’s family.